Monday, February 26, 2018

Guest Post: The Calculus of Change by Jessie Hilb

Release date: February 27th 2018
Publisher: Clarion Books
Purchase: Amazon

Synopsis via Goodreads:

A poignant and empowering teen novel of grief, unrequited love, and finding comfort in one's own skin.

Aden isn't looking for love in her senior year. She's much more focused on things like getting a solo gig at Ike's and keeping her brother from illegal herbal recreation. But when Tate walks into Calculus class wearing a yarmulke and a grin, Aden's heart is gone in an instant.

The two are swept up in a tantalizingly warm friendship, complete with long drives with epic soundtracks and deep talks about life, love, and spirituality. With Tate, Aden feels closer to her mom and her mom's faith than she has since her mother died years ago. Everyone else even Aden's brother and her best friend can see their connection, but does Tate?

Navigating uncertain romance and the crises of those she loves, Aden must decide how she chooses to see herself and how to honor her mom's memory.


The "love story" in THE CALCULUS OF CHANGE was inspired by a beautiful, heartbreaking relationship I had in high school and through early college. Of course, in writing, the story took on a life of its own, but I started from and wrote from the truth of my experience while giving the characters in CALC room to breathe and live on their own. It's weird, but I think I always knew I was going to write this story. Not because the story of unrequited love is anything "novel" (pun intended;) but because the themes and truths that love asks us to look at are ever-present. 
Grief and love coexist so closely to one another. Being a teenager, and coming into adulthood is such a beautiful paradox. We know everything and nothing all at once. And the thing about being human is that "coming of age" and growing never stops. We never really get it. And if we think we have gotten it, the universe is here to remind us that, nope, we don't. 
The one thing Aden has to learn throughout her journey is a deep, centered self love in the face of what life throws at her and in the face of the messaging we receive from our culture that says we will never be enough. But even self love isn't constant. Self love is a practice, not an arrival. 
The other thing Aden learns is how to live more in her heart and make decisions from that place, even when it hurts like hell. It's something I'm learning to do over and over again in my own life. Because all we really know that we have is now. This moment. The ones before and the ones after aren't here. I am. You are. So, like Aden says, "open up and be free, because as far as we know, this is it." 

Thank you so much for hosting me on this blog and for reading CALCULUS. It's such an honor.

Jessie Hilb
About the Author
Jessie Hilb holds a Masters in Social Work and lives in Boulder, Colorado with her family and ever-loyal herding dog. She constantly reinvents herself. The Calculus of Change is her first novel. When she’s not writing, Jessie is CrossFitting-- it keeps her sane, grounded, and humble. And it’s fun.


  1. Oh it sounds intense. thanks for sharing, I didn't know about it


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